From Fake CFB Reference
Jump to: navigation, search


The Notre Dame Fighting Irish are a struggling independent football team in the National Fake College Athletic Association.

Head Coach[edit]

Notre Dame's first game began in February of 2018. The opponent was the Michigan Wolverines, the setting was South Bend, Indiana. The Big 88 was coaching the Irish and was excited about the opportunity to beat the Wolverines in the season opener. However The Big 88 suddenly resigned from the head coaching job and disappeared from the stadium, never to be heard from again. The fans and players stood in stunned silence as the refs scrambled around. Several phone calls to the commissioner and moderators later, two coordinators were hired to take over for Notre Dame. Jackie Noffard and ThatCanDoSpirit strode the length of the sideline, giving the ref an earful about the kickoff proceedings and barking out plays. It was a hectic time on the Irish sideline as both coordinators were new to this game and were sending in the wrong plays at the wrong time. In the confusion Michigan fumbled the ball away and then Notre Dame fumbled the ball right back on 2nd down and gave Michigan excellent field position.

Notre Dame's performance did not improve. They gave up a 56-yard touchdown run, threw a pick-6, gave up a field goal, turned the ball over on downs leading to another Michigan field goal. It was not a happy first quarter for the Irish. Things seemed to be looking up when Notre Dame intercepted the ball with just under 5 minutes left in the 2nd quarter. However things suddenly took an odd turn.

Notre Dame's coach was heard telling players the following three phrases:

  • You are choosing a dvd for tonight
  • You went to Egypt
  • I are choosing a book for reading

Then, just as suddenly as The Big 88, Jackie Noffard disappeared.

TwoGad took over the Fighting Irish, leading them to victory in his first game as head coach over Michigan State, 35-20. However, after losing to Oklahoma the following week 34-24 and then getting crushed in week 4 by Purdue 56-24, TwoGad began relying heavily on subs. Only coaching one more game, a loss to Boston College (24-20 in week 6), TwoGad followed the trend of Irish head coaches and disappeared into the horizon.

After an interim led Notre Dame to a crushing loss against Alabama in week 7, New HC MicahHeath1212 lead the Irish to their best offensive and worst defensive performances against their rivals in a week 8 loss to USC, 77-73. Though some thought this would be the turnaround the Irish needed, MicahHeath1212 continued the legacy of evaporating coaches, leaving Notre Dame to subs in week 9 and 10.

After 2 losses with interim Head Coaches, Week 11 brought in rookie Head Coach Bear Thomas (u/scenicevergreen) who vowed to "right the Notre Dame ship" after the 1-9 start by the 4 previous head coaches and handful of interims. On the first drive of the game against the University of Massachusetts, "Coach Bear" (as his team affectionately called him) led the team to dominate the defense and score after only a minute with the ball. The ensuing defensive drive the Irish forced an interception, allowing the Irish to again drive downfield and score off of the turnover.

Only time will tell if Coach Bear can lead this team to the end of the season with more victory and energy heading into his first full season as head coach... or if the trend of orphaning the Fighting Irish will continue.